ACT ONE
       
       
                            “ONCE UPON A TIME”
       

       FADE IN:

       INT. DOUG’S BATHROOM - NIGHT

       DOUG TRUDGES INTO THE BATHROOM AND STARES INTO THE 
       MIRROR.  HE LOOKS LIKE HELL.  HE PICKS UP A PINK 
       TOOTHBRUSH THAT IS LYING BY THE SINK, GLARES AT IT.

                              DOUG

                 This is all your fault.

       DOUG OPENS THE MEDICINE CABINET TO PUT THE TOOTHBRUSH 
       AWAY AND A HALF DOZEN BOXES OF TAMPONS TUMBLE OUT.  DOUG 
       STARES AT THEM HELPLESSLY THEN LOOKS AT US.

                              DOUG (CONT'D)

                 I know what you’re thinking.  I’d 

                 be thinking the same thing if I 

                 were in your position.  As a matter 

                 of fact, just two days ago, I was 

                 in your position.

                                                       WHIP PAN TO: