INT. RESTAURANT DINING AREA - NIGHT

       DOUG LIMPS OVER TO THE TABLE WHERE WARD, HIS WIFE RITA 
       AND RITA’S FRIEND KRYSSA ARE WAITING FOR HIM.  (NOW THAT 
       WE MEET HER IN PERSON, KRYSSA IS KIND OF HOT, TOO, IN A 
       BLONDE, SUPERFICIAL, SEXY SORT OF WAY.)

                              DOUG

                 Sorry about that.

                              WARD

                 Hey, no problem.

       THE WOMEN JUST GLARE AT HIM.  AWKWARD SILENCE.

                              DOUG

                 So...  Christmas, huh?  What was 

                 that like growing up?

                              KRYSSA

                 I’m Jewish.

                              DOUG

                 I guess your parents had a sense of 

                 humor then.

                              KRYSSA

                 Because they’re Jewish?

                              DOUG

                 Because they named you Christmas.

                              KRYSSA

                 My name is Kryssa.

                              WARD

                 Ouch.  But you see how he could 

                 make that mistake.

                              DOUG

                 Excuse me a moment.

       DOUG TAKES HIS FORK AND CRAWLS UNDER THE TABLE.

                              WARD

                 Ow!

       DOUG CRAWLS BACK OUT FROM UNDER THE TABLE.

                              DOUG

                 Fork, please!

                              RITA

                 (CHANGING THE SUBJECT) So, Kryssa, 

                 you and Doug have something in 

                 common.  You once posed nude for 

                 Playboy.  And Doug is a man.

       DOUG GLARES AT RITA.

                              WARD

                 And Doug, you’re a big Star Wars 

                 fan, and so is Kryssa.

                              KRYSSA

                 Oh my God, really?

                              DOUG

                 (STILL GLARING AT RITA) I am, after 

                 all, a man.

                              KRYSSA

                 Oh my God, me too!

                              DOUG

                 You’re a man?

                              KRYSSA

                 No, no, Star Wars!

                              DOUG

                 (IMPRESSED) Really?

                              KRYSSA

                 It was one of my turn ons.

                              DOUG

                 Well, I guess that makes you the 

                 perfect woman.

       WARD AND RITA ABRUPTLY START TO LEAVE.

                              WARD

                 Oh, gosh, look at the time.

                              DOUG

                 Where are you going?

                              WARD

                 We forgot, we gotta get home, the 

                 babysitter, you know.

                              DOUG

                 You don’t have any children.

                              WARD

                 I know.  The poor girl is going to 

                 be so confused.

                              RITA

                 But you two stay.  You really seem 

                 to be hitting it off.  Kryssa, call 

                 me.  See you.  B’bye.  

       RITA AND WARD HASTILY EXIT.

                              DOUG

                 I think our friends are trying to 

                 set us up.

                              KRYSSA

                 Oh, I hope not.  No offense, you 

                 seem like a really great guy and 

                 all, but I just got out of a long-

                 term relationship and I’m really 

                 not looking to do that again.

                              DOUG

                 No, I understand.  That’s exactly 

                 what I’m not looking to do, too.

                              KRYSSA

                 Good, good.  See we’re totally on 

                 the same wave length.  To be 

                 honest, after what I’ve been 

                 through I’d rather just have 

                 anonymous sex.

                                                     SMASH CUT TO: