INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY DOUG IS PACING NERVOUSLY. RICKY IS SITTING ON THE COUCH, CLEANING HIS PENIS. SFX: DOORBELL AT THE SOUND OF THE DOORBELL DOUG AND RICKY PRACTICALLY LEAP OUT OF THEIR SKINS. DOUG What was that??? SFX: DOORBELL AGAIN. RICKY (SPOOKED) I think it’s our doorbell. RICKY GOES TO THE FRONT DOOR AND OPENS IT. KRYSSA IS STANDING THERE, HOLDING A BIG BAG OF GROCERIES. KRYSSA Hi, I’m Kryssa. RICKY How did you do that? KRYSSA Do what? DOUG Kryssa, come in. Ricky, go out. RICKY She scares me. RICKY EXITS, BEING CAREFUL NOT TO TURN HIS BACK TO KRYSSA. DOUG Listen, thank you for coming over, I have to talk to you about this morning. I want to apologize-- KRYSSA Yay! I forgive you. SHE GIVES HIM A KISS ON THE FOREHEAD. DOUG That’s it? KRYSSA Unless you want to grovel some. DOUG Not particularly. KRYSSA Me neither. See that’s the thing about guys. It’s so wonderful when they admit they’re wrong, but the whole process of humiliating them afterward to make sure they learned their lesson just isn’t that appealing. DOUG Okay, but I didn’t admit-- Y’know, never mind. KRYSSA So what do you want to do tonight? DOUG I hadn’t really-- KRYSSA Let’s go out. DOUG Okay. What’s in the bag? KRYSSA Well, when you asked me to come over, I knew you were going to EITHER break up with me... SHE REACHES INTO THE BAG AND PULLS OUT A CAN OF MACE. DOUG Mace. KRYSSA Or apologize... SHE REACHES IN THE BAG AND TAKES OUT A PINK TOOTHBRUSH. DOUG Toothbrush. KRYSSA RUNS OFF INTO THE BATHROOM TO PUT AWAY THE TOOTHBRUSH. SHE COMES BACK. DOUG (CONT'D) So what do you want to-- KRYSSA REACHES INTO THE BAG AND TAKES OUT A CAN OF HAIRSPRAY, SOME MAKE UP, MOISTURIZER, ETC., AND RUNS OFF INTO THE BATHROOM. SHE COMES BACK. DOUG (CONT'D) What do you want to-- KRYSSA GRABS THE WHOLE BAG AND GOES OFF INTO THE BATHROOM. DOUG FOLLOWS HER TO THE DOOR AND WATCHES WITH GROWING ALARM AS WE HEAR THE SOUND OF MANY BATHROOM PRODUCTS BEING PUT AWAY. KRYSSA COMES BACK OUT OF THE BATHROOM, CRUMPLES THE EMPTY GROCERY BAG AND HANDS IT TO DOUG. KRYSSA Let’s go dancing! SHE SKIPS TO THE FRONT DOOR AS DOUG GOES INTO THE BATHROOM TO SURVEY THE DAMAGE. CUT TO: