THE EIGHT

Reindeer Monologues

by Jeff Goode

copyright © 1994

[The following script changes are optional. Page numbers refer to the published version of the script from ]

[Hollywood] - pg. 27.

CHANGE:

We set it in the year 2000.
TO:
We set it in the "not too distant future".
[Blitzen] - pg. 36.

CHANGE:

But you can look at him
standing there in his padded cell.
TO:
But you can look at him
standing there in his padded stall.
[Dancer] - pg. 51.

CHANGE:

And once she's had too much to drink -
which doesn't take long
because she usually gets started before we even get back -
TO:
And once she's had too much to drink -
which doesn't take long
because she starts before we even get back -
[Donner] - pg. 55.

CHANGE:

the World Trade Center
TO:
(some other building)
OR:
a skyscraper
OR:
DON'T CHANGE
[Vixen] - pg. 60.

CHANGE:

interviewed on Geraldo
TO:
(any current tabloid television show)
[Vixen] - pg. 64.

CHANGE:

"How many sexual partners have you had?"
...More than one.
TO:
"How many sexual partners have you had?"
...I don't recall.
[Vixen] - pg. 65.

CHANGE:

I should just not be on this planet
anytime it's possible that Santa Claus might be aroused,
that's the only smart thing to do.
TO:
I should just not be on this planet
anytime it's possible that Santa Claus, or any other man, might be aroused,
that's the only smart thing to do.
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