(lights up on Mary, ironing the clothes)
They could call it "The Woman Behind the Man"
But then you could say that about every woman.
Maybe they should call it that. "Everywoman". Heck, let's not be sexist, you can call it "Everyman".
"Everyman: The Virgin Mary Story"
No, no it's definitely a woman thing.
You don't see Joseph in here ironing the Messiah's underwear. He's out building a toolshed.
Not for the Messiah. For himself.
He wants a toolshed, so he builds one. I want a new dress, so I iron the clothes. Do you think I want to be ironing the clothes? You think I need this much underwear? Men's underwear? I don't need this.
(picks up a pair of underwear)I don't need this.
(picks up a pair of Bermuda shorts)I don't need one of these.
(picks up a sweatshirt)I need one of these, but this one's too big for me. I don't need this one.
I don't need any of this!
Joseph wants a new toolshed, Joseph builds a new toolshed.
Mary wants a new toolshed, Mary irons clothes.
Mary asks Joseph for a new toolshed, Joseph says, "Not now, I'm building my own toolshed."
Mary asks Jesus for a new toolshed, Jesus says, "Mom, I'm the Savior of Mankind. I don't know anything about construction work." What did you learn from your father??
I could build a toolshed. If I had the time.
I don't even want a toolshed...
(she notices something in the pile of laundry.)What the...?
(calling offstage:)JESUS EMMANUEL CHRIST! GET IN HERE!
(enter Jesus)What is this?
(she holds up a piece of fabric. It's the Shroud of Turin.)
(Exasperated, Mary throws up her hands and rolls her eyes.)
(slide: a famous painting of The Virgin Mary in the same position as Mary, but in the painting the pose reads as supplication to the heavens.)
(lights fade on Mary and Jesus, but the slide stays up)