Keep Your Spirits Handy!
(from Marley's Christmas)
by Jeff Goode & Jonathan Price
copyright © 2005
(A Pub. A band of MERRY REVELERS raise their cups and sing a drinking song to Christmas.)
Oh! Keep your spirits handy Theyll keep your spirits up!
For meat is a treat if youve nothing to eat
But it wont put a drop in your cup!
1.
One reveler from Cardiff spends each Holiday the same:
Out prowling pubs until hes pissed and passed out in the lane.
The barmaid took him home and tried to rouse him with a kiss.
He said, "Forgive me missy, but you woke me up for this?"
Oh! Keep your spirits handy Theyll keep your spirits up!
For, love is a rose, if you want one of those
But an eggnog wont need a pre-nup!
2.
A kindly Christmas shopper spied a pauper Christmas night
She offered him a groat to go and get himself a bite
To her surprise the fellow whispered this, as he declined:
You want to see me merry? You should offer me a pint!
So Keep your spirits handy Theyll keep your spirits up!
Theres no comfort in gold when the weather is cold
But a toddy will heat you right up!
3.
(suddenly solemn:)
And lest our solemn holiday become a bacchanal
Lets take a moment - Christmass true meaning to recall
And let us yet remember as we revel in our whims
(boisterous again:)
Who turned the water into wine and raise a glass to him!
Oh! Keep your spirits handy - Theyll keep your spirits up!
Be pious as you can be
But keep some brandy in your cup!
4.
A wily old curmudgeon was the miser of the town
For even during Christmastide his visage bore a frown
But he was always welcome at the local Cock & Crown
Cause once a year hed have a beer and buy the house a round!
So Keep your spirits handy Theyll keep your spirits up!
The seasons the reason and all else is treason
So heres to the Country Drink up!
Wassail! God Save the King!
© 2005 Jeff Goode & Jonathan Price - THIS SCRIPT IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR