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I would kill you if I could.

I would kill you and your family and your children if you have any and your dog.

Your dog I would put in a double-thick plastic garbage bag with a brick in it and drive down to the pier and toss it over the railing into the water.

I would kill your friends and co-workers and people who only pretended to be your friends. And people whose friends are your friends, and people who are only friends with you on myspace.

While you watched.

I would kill you last.

But I would also kill you first.

I would go back in time and kill you before you were born.

I would kill your parents and their parents and anyone who resembles your parents.

Then I would go forward in time and stop myself from killing you, and rescue you from being killed by me. So I could take you back in time to watch me kill your parents before moving forward in time to let you watch yourself cease to exist. Then I would kill you again.

That’s how much I love you.

That’s how much I would hate you if you left me.

Now... What were you saying?