The Shortest Play Ever:
Sonogram
by Jeff Goode
copyright © 2007

WOMAN
It’s not your baby! And I’ll kill you if you tell anybody it is!

MAN
Someday, God willing, your child will grow up. And when she does, she’ll ask you: "Mommy… who’s my father?" And then what will you tell her?

WOMAN
I’ll tell her Jesus damns to hell those who question their parents. And how did you know she would be a girl?

MAN
You were too drunk to notice at the time. And perhaps you’re too drunk even now. But it was I who performed the sonogram.

WOMAN
You bastard!

MAN
No. But our daughter will be.

BLACKOUT
© 2007 Jeff Goode - THIS SCRIPT IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR