Episode... Hunt!(3)

by Jeff Goode
copyright © 2003

 

           "Meanwhile, later that day..."

           (Enter CRAZY WORM GUY.)

           CRAZY WORM
Hi, I'm Crazy Worm Guy!

           (Waits for the audience to finish.)

Hi.

           (Suddenly remembers that he is sad...)

I don't have a tiger.

           (Enter MR. ANGRY PANTS.)

           MR. ANGRY
They call me... Mr. Angry Pants!!

           (Silence. After awhile...)

           MR. ANGRY
Aren't you going to say something stupid?

           CRAZY WORM
I wish I had a tiger.

           MR. ANGRY
(relieved) Thank you!

           CRAZY WORM
Do you want to help me find a--

           MR. ANGRY
NO!!

           (MR. ANGRY PANTS storms out. CRAZY WORM GUY shouts after him.)
          
           CRAZY WORM
Fine! I'll just find one without you! And when I find a tiger! I'm keeping him all to myself! ...Or herself, if it's a she-tiger!

           (Enter THE GIRL THAT DANCES, dancing)

           GIRL THAT DANCES
Hello, Crazy Worm Guy! Why so sad?

           CRAZY WORM
Oh, hello, Girl That Dances. Can I ask you something?

           GIRL THAT DANCES
Sure, C.W. Ask me anything.

           CRAZY WORM
Do you have a tiger?
           (then, noticing her gyrations...)
...In your pants?

           (They both look at her pants, which could very well have a tiger in them.)

           GIRL THAT DANCES
Gosh, I don't know. I'd have to check.

           CRAZY WORM
Could you?

(GIRL THAT DANCES checks in her pants, while dancing. CRAZY WORM finds this incredibly fascinating. After awhile she finishes checking.)

           GIRL THAT DANCES
Nope. Sorry. No tiger.

           CRAZY WORM
(could give a rat's ass about tigers at this point) Please check again.

           (She shrugs and starts to check again.)

...The End...

           (Or perhaps an ANNOUNCER says...)

           ANNOUNCER
Tune in next time, when Crazy Worm Guy says...

           CRAZY WORM
Again! Check again!!

           (GIRL THAT DANCES shrugs and starts to check again.)

           (BLACKOUT)

© 2003 Jeff Goode - "TIGER-TIGER YUM-YUM" IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR