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(CRAZY WORM GUY smiles at the audience. GIRL THAT DANCES dances until the song is over, then she leaves.)
Tiger, Tiger, Tiger, Yum-Yum
Tiger, Tiger, Yum-Yum-Yum
He's so Hot that he's on Fi-grrr
Tiger, Tiger, so much fun!
Come with the Yum, gotta a Gun gonna Trav... el.
Bangin' like a Gavel, gonna Have a Lot of Fun. (Bam!)
They've been away, but in the meanwhi-grrr
Tiger, Tiger, Tiger, Tiger, Yum(bang)! Yum(bang)! Yum(bang)!!
CRAZY WORM
Hello! I'm Crazy Worm Guy.
(Waits for the audience.)
Hi.
I live in the magical Place of Things that Happen!
In a studio apartment. Cool.
(CWG is suddenly very sad.)
I don't have a tiger.
(He cries a little.)
I don't have a girlfriend either.
Not after she jilted me!!
Do you know what "jilted" means, boys and girls?
(Sobs.)
Me neither! (bawling) So why does it hurt so much???
(He stops crying.)
She jilted me for my very best friend in the whole world.
(He is sad. Then happy.)
But at least I have my health!
(Enter HEALTH, coughing and wheezing.)
CRAZY WORM
Hi. Who are you?
HEALTH
I'm Your Health. Listen, it's not working out between us. I think you're a really great guy and all. But I think we should see other people. I need my space. We can still be friends.
(HEALTH exits. CRAZY WORM GUY is taken aback by this unexpected turn of events.)
CRAZY WORM
Well, at least I have my friends!
(He crosses toward the entrance.)
And now I'd like you to meet my very best friend in the whole world... Mr. Angry Pants!! (whispers) But don't call him that.
(MR. ANGRY PANTS does not enter. CWG is perplexed. He goes off to look for him, but comes back empty handed.)
That's strange...
(He thinks about this turn of events.)
I hope I didn't kill him.
...The End...
ANNOUNCER
Tune in next time, when Crazy Worm Guy says...
CRAZY WORM
I remember attacking him with that knife. But everything after that is just one big blur...
(HEALTH comes back.)
HEALTH
And I want you out of the apartment by midnight.
(BLACKOUT)
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