Episode... Dirt!(8)

by Jeff Goode
copyright © 2003

 

(GIRL THAT DANCES and OTHER GIRL THAT ALSO DANCES BUT MOSTLY JUST TALKS TOO MUCH are dancing and gossiping about the latest developments.)

Tiger, Tiger, Tiger, Yum-Yum
Tiger, Tiger, Yum-Yum-Yum
Have you heard this? He's a shy-grrr.
Tiger, Tiger, so much fun!

Come with the Yum, gonna Rum-ble some Ruu…mors.
Gotta bit o’ Gossip, Have you Heard the latest Word? (Y’don’t say!)

Dirt's gonna Blurt, Gonna spread like a fi-grrr
Tiger, Tiger, Tiger, Tiger, Yum! Yum! Yum!!

           (The two GIRLS continue dancing even though the song is over.)

           OTHER GIRL
Have you heard about that one guy?

           GIRL THAT DANCES
No, what happened?

           OTHER GIRL
They're saying he might have done something.

           GIRL THAT DANCES
No way!

           OTHER GIRL
To that other guy.

           GIRL THAT DANCES
You're kidding!

           OTHER GIRL
Like killed him.

           GIRL THAT DANCES
No way!

           OTHER GIRL
To death!

           GIRL THAT DANCES
You're kidding!!!

           OTHER GIRL
Over a woman.

           GIRL THAT DANCES
Okay, hold on. Are we talking about the same guy?

           OTHER GIRL
Why?

           GIRL THAT DANCES
Because I thought he was gay.

           OTHER GIRL
You did??

           GIRL THAT DANCES
I thought they were both gay.

           OTHER GIRL
You're kidding!

           GIRL THAT DANCES
Together.

           OTHER GIRL
No way!

           GIRL THAT DANCES
With each other.

           OTHER GIRL
Where did you hear that?

           GIRL THAT DANCES
From you.

           OTHER GIRL
Ohhh! No, no, no, not that guy. The other guy. And his friend.

           GIRL THAT DANCES.
Oh, that guy! ...He killed him?

           OTHER GIRL
Uh huh.

           GIRL THAT DANCES
Over a woman?

           OTHER GIRL
That's what they're saying.

           GIRL THAT DANCES
What a slut. So who is she?

           OTHER GIRL
Nobody knows for sure.

           GIRL THAT DANCES
I see.

           OTHER GIRL
But right before the one guy killed the other guy...

           GIRL THAT DANCES
Uh huh...

           OTHER GIRL
If that's what happened.

           GIRL THAT DANCES
Sure.

           OTHER GIRL
Witnesses spotted both of them dancing.

           GIRL THAT DANCES
No way!

           OTHER GIRL
With her.

           GIRL THAT DANCES
You're kidding!

           OTHER GIRL
That's what they're saying.

           GIRL THAT DANCES
But how is that possible? Isn't he in a wheel chair?

           (OTHER GIRL stares at her uncomprehendingly, until she figures it out.)

           OTHER GIRL
No, no, no, not that guy. The other guy.

           GIRL THAT DANCES
Oh.

           OTHER GIRL
Crazy Worm Guy.

           GIRL THAT DANCES

Ohhh...

           OTHER GIRL
And his friend. Mr. Angry Pants.

           GIRL THAT DANCES
Oh.

           OTHER GIRL
That's who I'm talking about.

           GIRL THAT DANCES
Oh.
(Then, she stops dancing.)
Oh no!

           OTHER GIRL
What?

           GIRL THAT DANCES
Oh no!!

           OTHER GIRL
What is it??

...The End...

           ANNOUNCER
Tune in next time, when the Girl That Dances says...

           GIRL THAT DANCES

I was spotted dancing with both of those guys!!

           (She starts dancing again. Beat.)

           OTHER GIRL
You slut.

 
           (BLACKOUT)

© 2003 Jeff Goode - "TIGER-TIGER YUM-YUM" IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR