Tiger-Tiger Yum-Yum by Jeff Goode

Tiger-Tiger Yum-Yum

Episode... Corpse!⁽¹³⁾

by Jeff Goode

"Meanwhile, several martinis later..."

(Enter CRAZY WORM GUY, walking. He is blindfolded. MAD BADGER scampers around, chittering drunkenly.)

CRAZY WORM
Hello! I'm Crazy Worm Guy.
(He listens for the audience reaction.)
Hi.

MAD BADGER
Hachichi chi!

CRAZY WORM
We're on our way to the Place Where the Bodies Are Buried.

MAD BADGER
Hachichi chi!

CRAZY WORM
That's Mad Badger. He's the only one who knows where the Place where Bodies are Buried is.

MAD BADGER
So don't mess with me.

CRAZY WORM
We must be close. This place has the stink of death about it.

MAD BADGER
No, that's me. I told you martinis make me farty.

(They walk some more.)

CRAZY WORM
Are we there yet?

MAD BADGER
How should I know?

(They walk some more.)

CRAZY WORM
Are we there yet?

MAD BADGER
Stop asking me that! I'll tell you when we're there yet. But I won't need to tell you, because you'll already know. When we get to the place where the Place where the Bodies are Buried is, it will be so obvious to you that we're there that you won't even need to ask.

(While MAD BADGER is talking, a whole bunch of CORPSES have appeared all around them, moaning posthumously. CRAZY WORM GUY takes off his blindfold and looks around.)

CRAZY WORM
Is this it?

MAD BADGER
Are you messing with me?

CRAZY WORM
No. ...Yes. ...No.
(quietly, so as not to wake the dead) Soooo... the Place where the Bodies are Buried.

(Turning around, he notices that MR. MUSIC PERSON MAN is there, sitting at his piano, smiling.)

CRAZY WORM
Mr. Music Person Man? What are you doing here?

MUSIC PERSON
I had an idea for a new song! It goes like this:

(MR. MUSIC PERSON MAN plays the "BALLET OF THE DEAD" song, which the CORPSES all get up and dance to. After they are done dancing, they all drop dead.)

(CRAZY WORM GUY notices something laying on the ground.)

CRAZY WORM GUY
Hey, look at this!

(He picks up a pair of pants.)

...The End...

ANNOUNCER
Tune in next time, when Mad Badger says...

MAD BADGER
It's Mr. Angry Pants's pants!

CRAZY WORM
Don't call them that!

(BLACKOUT)