Tiger-Tiger Yum-Yum by Jeff Goode

Tiger-Tiger Yum-Yum

Episode... Vengeance!⁽¹⁹⁾

by Jeff Goode

(Enter the VENGEFUL RABBIT.)

Tiger, Tiger, Tiger, Yum-Yum
Tiger, Tiger, Yum-Yum-Yum
He's so Hot like he's on Fi-grrr
Tiger, Tiger, so much fun!

Come with the Yum, gonna Run like a Bun... ny.
Rapid as a Rabbit, gotta Grab it by the Tongue (Ew!)

Go with the Flow, Give an Inch, Take a Miiii-grrr!
Tiger, Tiger, Tiger, Tiger, Yum^(bang)! Yum^(bang)! Yum^(bang)!!

RABBIT
Hi! I'm the Vengeful Rabbit. Remember me?

Of course not! Nobody ever remembers me!!
(deliciously:)
And that's because Revenge is a dish best served......

(Pauses vengefully.)

...WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT!!

I have wandered far and near, waiting for just the right moment to exact my Revenge upon---WHEN HE LEAST EXPECTS IT!!

(Enter CRAZY WORM GUY.)

CRAZY WORM
Hi, I'm Crazy Worm Guy. (beat) Hi.

RABBIT
Well, hellooooo, Crazy.... Worm Guy.

CRAZY WORM
How are you, Rabbit? I expect you're looking mighty Vengeful today.

(Rabbit pauses in mid-vengeance, thwarted.)

RABBIT
DRAT!!

CRAZY WORM
What's wrong---?

RABBIT
Nothing! No, it's nothing!

CRAZY WORM
All I said was---

RABBIT
I said it was nothing! Never mind!

(VENGEFUL RABBIT exits, foiled again.)

CRAZY WORM
I expect he's up to no good.

RABBIT
(offstage) DRAT!!

CRAZY WORM
Oh, look, a Celestial Phenomenon!

(A CELESTIAL PHENOMENON enters, wearily, can't muster the energy to make an exit.)

CRAZY WORM
Hi, I'm Crazy Worm Guy.

CELESTIAL PHENOMENON
Hi, Crazy Worm Guy.

CRAZY WORM
Hi. You're looking mighty Vengeful today. If you don't mind my saying.

CELESTIAL PHENOMENON
No one's ever called me that before.

CRAZY WORM
Maybe that's because no one's ever read my handy word-of-the-day calendar before.

(CRAZY WORM GUY hands CELESTIAL PHENOMENON his word-of-the-day- calendar.)

CELESTIAL PHENOMENON
(reading) Vagabondical. Wandering; roaming; like a vagabond.

CRAZY WORM
Oohhhhhh... Vagabondical.

...The End...

(Or perhaps an ANNOUNCER says...)

ANNOUNCER
Tune in next time, when the Celestial Phenomenon says...

CELESTIAL PHENOMENON
Hey, guess who I just saw on the other side of the Universe?

CRAZY WORM
Me! ...No, wait... Mad Badger! ...No, wait... Me!

...To Be Continued?...

CRAZY WORM
Yes! ...No? ...Yes!!

(BLACKOUT)