copyright © 2003 Jeff Goode

Stockholm Syndrome

by Jeff Goode

copyright © 2003

(An AMERICAN sees a THERAPIST.)

THERAPIST
So... Still not supporting the troops?

AMERICAN
I'm not sure I understand how opposing a war that I'm opposed to is unpatriotic.

THERAPIST
Don't you have friends in the service? (reading off the patient's chart) Tony Polashek? (reading another name) And Dinah Steward? Isn't that your cousin?

AMERICAN
I don't think having friends and relations whose job requires them to obey any order given to them, no matter how insane, means I should encourage their commander to give them more insane orders.

THERAPIST
Okay, calm down. Now, I understand you didn't want this war. 70% of America was against going to war without U.N. approval. So you're not alone. But now that we went ahead and started a war anyway, 70% are in favor of it. So now you are alone.

AMERICAN
But I'm not alone! 30% of the country is on my side. That's the same amount you had on your side when you started this unprovoked war. What makes you think the same 30% can't launch a pre-emptive peace?

THERAPIST
Okay, now you're just being ridiculous. (snickers) Peace.

AMERICAN
You think peace is ridiculous?

THERAPIST
Okay, see, I think you're missing the point. Let me try to explain.

Suppose you were on a plane. Say, you're on your way to Florida. For a little vacation. But I hijack the plane. I've got a gun. I tie up the captain. Or maybe I throw him out of the plane without a parachute, so there's no chance of rescue. ...So now I'm the captain. And I say we're going to Texas. Now I know you don't want to go to Texas. But you still want the plane to land safely, right? So as we're making the approach, it only makes sense that you're going to be praying for the pilot to make a good landing. And that's me. ...So now you're supporting me. Which means you support the trip to Texas. You're in favor of us landing safely in Texas. ...And if we happen to land at the airport. And federal agents surround the plane. And try to storm the cockpit. Naturally, you're going to try to fight them off. To protect the captain who brought you down safely. In fact, you would probably grab a gun and start shooting anyone who tried to attack me, even if that meant risking death or injury to yourself. Because it would be irresponsible to just sit back and let someone try to take down the captain. You see?

AMERICAN
So you're saying the whole country is suffering from Stockholm syndrome, because they're protecting the very people who've taken them hostage?

THERAPIST
(exasperated) No. I'm saying if any of the hostages in Stockholm had resisted their kidnappers... It would have been completely unpatriotic.
"Stockholm Syndrome" IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR