EXT. WALLY'S FILLING STATION - DAY

               The police car pulls into the filling station.  GOOBER
               comes out to pump the gas.

                                      GOOBER
                          How's the investigation going, Sheriff? 
                          Is it true what they're saying about
                          Otis bein' one of them fancy gigolos?

                                      ANDY
                          Come to find out that's exactly what
                          Otis Campbell was.  Only his specialty
                          was customers of the male persuasion.

                                      GOOBER
                          You don't say.

                                      BARNEY
                          And his biggest customer was Floyd
                          Lawson.  

                                      GOOBER
                          Floyd the barber?  I can't hardly
                          believe it!

                                      ANDY
                          Well, I didn't believe it either.  So I
                          called Sarah, to see if the two of them
                          ever spoke.  

                                      GOOBER
                          And?

                                      ANDY
                          And she confirmed that there was a time
                          when Floyd and Otis were chattin' each
                          other up two, three, four times a week. 
                          Calling each other pet names.  Otie
                          patotie.  And Floydy-woyd.

                                      GOOBER
                          Well I'll be.

                                      ANDY
                          That stopped a couple weeks ago,
                          though.

                                      GOOBER
                          You suppose they had a fight?  

                                      ANDY
                          I reckon that's what it was.  

                                      GOOBER
                          I guess that makes Floyd your number
                          one suspect now, don't it?

                                      ANDY
                          Well, it would, if it weren't for one
                          thing. 

                                      GOOBER
                          What's that?

                                      ANDY
                          After they broke up, Floyd stopped
                          speaking to Otis.  And since then,
                          Sarah says he's been chattin' up
                          another fella.

                                      GOOBER
                          You don't say?  Any idea who this other
                          feller might be?

                                      ANDY
                          Hard to say.  All we have to go on is
                          his pet name... Goober-Woober.

               Goober blushes.

                                      GOOBER
                          Aw, shucks, Andy!  Only one ever calls
                          me that is Floydy-- ...Uh oh.

                                      BARNEY
                          You oughta be ashamed of yourself,
                          Goober!  Floyd's practically a
                          hairdresser, but you... You're a
                          certified garage mechanic.

                                      ANDY
                          Now Goober, we have it on good
                          authority that Otis was on his way to
                          meet someone right before he was
                          killed.  Was it you?

                                      GOOBER
                          Who told you that?

                                      ANDY
                          Is it true?

                                      GOOBER
                          It was Floyd, wasn't it?  That little
                          sneak.

                                      ANDY
                          Otis found out about the two of you,
                          didn't he?  And when Floyd stopped
                          requiring his services, Otis thought
                          he'd make up for lost income by
                          switching to blackmail instead.

                                      BARNEY
                          He probably had the both of you paying
                          out hush money to keep him from
                          spreadin' it all over town.

                                      GOOBER
                          But we wouldn't never kill him over it. 
                          Honest Andy, you gotta believe me.

                                      ANDY
                          I don't know, Goober.  Somewhere
                          between Floyd's barber shop and your
                          garage, Otis wound up dead in the
                          street.

                                      GOOBER
                          Well, I didn't do it.

                                      BARNEY
                          Then it was Floyd.

                                      GOOBER
                          He don't seem like the type.

                                      ANDY
                          There's a lot of types people don't
                          seem like today.

               Andy handcuffs Goober.

                                      BARNEY
                          What about Floyd, Andy?  He's still on
                          the loose.

                                      ANDY
                          We'll go on by the barber shop and pick
                          him up next.  Let's get 'em both off
                          the street and sort it out down at the
                          court house.  

                                      BARNEY
                          Good idea.  Make a clean sweep.  

                                      ANDY
                          I reckon we got our man.  Now we just
                          gotta figure out which one he is.

                                                         FADE OUT



                                     END ACT TWO